The Ballad of a Gofer
nobody loves a pair of bubble eye ...
Being called a hipster and what defines it, I don’t really care. Afterall, it only means having this kind of lifestyle:
But nowadays, it has changed to this…
I admit to being an emo in-denial but never a metro nor a hobo. I find my lifestyle a very normal one except that I have an exceptional taste in music, books and yes, sometimes clothes. Being “sick-in-the-head” is an occasional struggle but I’m perfectly fine. I’m coping with no drugs involve.
I never despised mainstream as form of humanity in general. I just hate to be just one of the crowd. And I don’t intend to force my lifestyle to everyone I meet. It’s a pity to have them understand what’s like to be in my shoes. Just saying.
People have an endless battle with new year’s resolutions. Every year you make a list and at the first 2 or 3 months of year, you kinda have everything well in place and that’s probably the end of it. I’m not saying all but that’s usually the best case scenario. I learned from the boys of Epipheo studios that in order to have these resolutions achieved, one should make a plan. A starting plan, a drive plan and a continuity plan. Whatever you call it, somebody has to have one. At least, that’s what I understand from those guys.
As for me, I do have plans and plans to make those plans to action. Only that I didn’t know how to bridge them with my rather lazy self. I don’t call my dreams ambitious but rather strange. Strange enough that only a tiny fraction of the world might share the same dream as I do. I’ve always thought of my career as something that defines me and without it, I guess I’m nothing. But I don’t recall making it an object of my entire breathing. It is just something I love.
I’m different, that’s for sure but I don’t claim to be an artist. I grew up with no ones shadow, with no ones comforting words and with no ones heroic embodiment. I just claim to be different, if you know what I mean.
Last year changed the way I looked at life. A twisted career and realizing that a first kiss is not a fairy tale with tiny morsels of silver dust. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss though your heart’s racing like hell. I’m a kid and It’s an undertow that I got caught up with and I was never the same.
I love too many people in my life but being so naive about so many random normal things made me I bit cold and careless. And at the end of the day, I’ll go crazy for walking away and not doing something about it. I’m a slack and I wanna change that. This time, I’m going after something I love, somebody I love. I’m not saying now but someday, I will.
Fifteen years ago, I was 13 and the music video business was booming immensely. I was a small town kid but yes, MTV reached our channel limited cable network. MTV Asia - Singapore then was the most colorful thing I’ve seen on TV. I liked every program it offers my musically curious soul. I dreamed of becoming a VJ and live in Singapore just like the woman I’ve adored Nadya Hutagalung. I spoke of my broken American accent in front of the mirror pretending to cover a music awards night at Madison Square Garden.
Much like any other music loving kid, I wasn’t alone. I share this dream with 4 of my friends. We would sneak out to use IDD just to join in contest, write fan letters, request our favorite videos just to win something on what they call the “goodie bag”. Although what’s inside will always be something I will never have. In fact, none of us did.
Fast forward, 15 years later, I’m now in living in Singapore with a little twisted career. And I still wonder about that dream in a memory of that 13 year old kid who loves music more than anyone she knew of.
Dear Job,
I’m writing this letter to say thank you and I’m sorry both at the same time. It’s been 2 months since that very day I was handed an envelope filled w/ instructional materials on how to go about the office. Nothing really says “WELCOME” but I really appreciate the nice work station you provided me, I love my red bossy chair. It’s just too much of me to expect a macbook pro from you but nevertheless, thank you for that crappy HP laptop. We are having a rocky relationship everyday but things just work out fine, at least for now.
Advertising is not my true love but it grows on me and someday there might be something in it for me. As a passionate follower of project management, it wasn’t the best environment to practice my SDLC. Few from your world speaks my language. You have your ways and I have mine but I wish someday you’ll be willing to understand what really “process” means from a project manager’s standpoint. I won’t miss that day when you’ll be ready.
In 2 days will be our Christmas party. It’s casino night and it speaks of itself “AWESOME”. But you won’t see me there having fun. Not even a trace of envy even the day after when we go back to work and people talk about how they got drunk and dance the night away. I won’t be psyche, not even a bit, not even at all. Not because I hated the people, not because I’m the saddest person in the world, not because I’m not sociable. Just because I’m not ready. But not being ready doesn’t mean I won’t open my heart to you ‘til the very end. I know someday I will.
So don’t look as if I hated you all. I honestly don’t.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!
Cheers,
Jasmine Lee
PS. I still want that macbook pro if don’t mind :)
Few years back in 2008, I first attempted to set my foot on advertising. That is, locally in a small agency within my city. I remember sporting that “Audrey Hepburn” like dress my mom bought me and as I step to the room full of fancy colored cubes, I knew then that the creative world will soon embrace me.
